Sibling rivalry




Firstly, I feel that the competition between Mas Nur and kak Ida is not good enough, but then I think that this will support them to get the best. But, I and my hubby should be wise so much in order that this will be the positive way in increase and support their development task and their personality.
This problem does not only happen to Mas Nur and Kak Ida, but also to Kak Dhila and kak Ifa , and between Kak Ifa and Dik Nana. So, sometimes I should get into the difficult chance, about how to face them ...because they have diffrent characters.... but then I just try not to be angry and be patient only. And face them in cool feeling and heart. Usually, I will get silent and try to get the best chance to get into their problem, because they, indeed, and finally will always say anything of their problem for me. I like the openess of them. They always say what ther problem. Anything. So, I always know what happe to them, and ... even when they get trouble with their teacher. This enable me to solve the problem.

I remember. Formerly, my hubby remind me about this, because Kak Ida often crying and involved in strong quarrel with Mas Nur. Yet, I just say that it will support them in how to face the problem and how to sove the problem wisely and positively. My hubby said that this will be bad for them, but ..lately, he said that this will close their relationship between them. BUT, we MUST have the positive ways to face it and help them to find the positive things. For instance, we involve them in our 'small meeting' and all children must say waht they feel fairly; we help them to solve their problem by apologize each other, hug each other, etc; we also ask them what must we have to do in order that we are not always in quarrel. By involving them, we can
recognize that everyone's opinion makes a difference, build cooperation and responsibility, and it make anger and rebellion less likely. Also,it is a time to share love, develop unity, and to build trust and self-esteem. The social skills and attitudes that children develop within the family circle are the skills and attitudes they will carry with them the rest of their lives.
What happen in my children, maybe,can be named as sibling rivalry. I say it because the range of their age is not so far. The range of kak Ida and mas Nur age is not more than a year. The range of
Kak Dhila and Kak Ifa is not more than 2 years, and also between Kak Ifa and Dik Nana.
Well, than I read in the article that sibling rivalry is the jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and sisters. It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. Problems often start right after the birth of the other child. Sibling rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and stressful to parents. There are lots of things parents can do to help their kids get along better and work through conflicts in positive ways, in order that is able to keep the peace at our house.


A sibling is a brother or a sister. The arrival of a new sibling can make a toddler feel threatened and jealous. The parental attention that used to be theirs alone is now shared with another. Sibling rivalry is normal. However, it can be a problem, particularly among children who are the same gender and close together in age. It is also important to remember that some of the behaviours parents might be concerned about are “common and normal” behaviours for toddlers and may not have anything to do with the arrival of a new baby.
Siblings are more likely to be competitive if they are the same sex and close together in age. This is heightened in the case of identical twins. Being compared and contrasted with each other seems to encourage competition and rivalry. Low self-esteem, depression and jealousy are more likely if one child is out-performed by their brother or sister in some way. Studies have shown that a twin who is out-performed is likely to abandon an activity altogether to avoid direct competition, even if they show great potential themselves.






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